If you can calculate how many miles it takes to burn these calories, your package is free!
I parodied the original email, which was an attempt to make money (I guess? Or maybe they were like me and trying to procrastinate too haha) by selling people something they could buy across the street at Tommy’s if they weren’t so lazy, but offer people door delivery and, well…nevermind. Just read it.
The Harvard College Democrats present…
READING PERIOD CRAP PACKAGES
buy them for yourselves and for your blockmates! packaged expensive crap never tasted so good!
Order by May 1 at 11:59PM
Delivered by May 3rd
Experience sugar high by 15 mins after consumption
The sugar crash and the hunger by mid-afternoon
option 1 – $5 – includes genetically modified corn, sugar, HFCS, FD&C No.40, enriched wheat flour, and MSG (pop-tarts, fruit snacks, gum, popcorn, etc), easy mac, and ramen
option 2 – $10 – includes option 1 + dangeous chemical red bull + gift card to a greasy food joint in the square
Order them online at: https://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=dDRuOHJkblZJYTNqd2pYZWNyR3N0VWc6MQ
(Don’t forget to click on the paypal link to pay!)